BUSY

Hello all. I have been very busy. I started reading the Harry Potter books. I might be the only one left on the planet that has not read them yet. I just started book two. Book one was pretty cute.
So my husband and I have decided to look into being foster parents. I have done my du diligence and I think that this may be for us. I have also made an appointment with the specialist and because of the hours that they have and my husband’s hours at work we were not able to get in until April!!
I am missing home (Buffalo) lots lately. My husband and I are trying to get caught up on some bills so we haven’t had the extra money for my usual monthly trips. I haven’t been home since x-mas which is a pretty long time for me.

KIDS

It is Saturday morning we have to go get our taxes done. That should be fun. Probably not. We had a sleepover last night with all of the kids. They sleep in our playroom/spare room when they come. Our bedroom is right across the hall. I sat up last night and read while I listened to the kids talk and play. It almost sounds like adults talking in they weren't kid voices you would never know. They grow up so fast. My step son Josh, who is going to be 9 in a couple of weeks, was only 3 when I met him. I stilll remeber when he wouldn't let us wash his hair while in the bath tub because he didn't want to get his face wet and now he hangs out with his friends and has sleep overs. Soon he will be wanting to hang with his friends all of the time and won't want to have sleepovers.
I went to the doctors yesterday and as I suspected I have to go see a specialist to see if there is anything that they can do for us. We are going to start the home study process for adoption in the mean time.

Well I have to go more later.

Thank you

So I went to my appointment yesterday and it did not look good. I still have to see my physician on Friday so that we can go over the options but the doctor that performed the procedure said that it did not look like by tubes were cleared.
I am going to be optimistic until I see my Doctor on Friday.
I know that everything happens for a reason but sometimes that reason is not so clear. Maybe I was given step children because I was not meant to have my own children. Only time will tell. I am sure that one of my options will be another surgery but I am not sure if that is the best option. I am also sure that there is not guarantee that it will work. Maybe I was meant to help some child out there in this world that needs to be saved.
Becky I love you too. I am so glad that we met. I am glad to have the support of my friends. I know that I will have my child some day. I was going to calll you yesterday but I wa feeling yucky and wanted to jsut lay on the couch and do nothing.
I am grateful to have this blog to be able to get everything off my chest and hear everyones input thank you for your support.

So it is pretty late on Saturday night. I have been doing a lot of thinking about my life and where it is going.

In Septmeber I had surgery because I was having a lot of pain. My doctor decided that he was going to do a laporoscopy when he wen to perform the surgery he found that my Uterus and tubes were completely covered in scar tissue. The Doctor thinks that he has removed all of it but he's were not sure so on Monday I go for another procedure that will take x-rays of dye going through my tubes to see if the blockage is cleared.

At this point in my life I had always thought that I would some day have children of my own. I have 2 step children that for the most part are wonderful but they both have a mother and I am only the step mother. I will never have the same bond with them that they have with their mother. I see the way they look at their mothers and the love that they have for them and it is not the same type of love that they have for me. I want to feel that bond and make that connection with my own child.

I am going to be 30 soon I have as career, a husband, a home, and a dog. I dont want to sound like I am being ungrateful but I want a child.

I guess I wil have to wait and see what happens.

Well you have visited my first blog page. I am 29 years old, yup that's right I turn the big 3 0 in 6 months and 10 days. I moved to Michigan from Buffalo, New York when I was 23 for a job and planned to stay for 1 year. I met the man that I would eventually marry after being here for only 6 months he is Canadian. When we got married we had to choose where to live and we decided to make Michigan the place where we would start our lives together. We have been married now for 3 and half years. It has been a long and hard journey. When I made the choice to move here I did so knowing that it would be hard with no family or friends here. My husband and I bought our first home together about 3 years ago it in quiet community by the lake. This is where we met our "Michigan family". It is so nice to have family in Michigan too. It is amazing how your whole life changes by making one choice. I have 2 step children and a dog. My step daughter is 16 and my step son is 8. My dog, Hooch, is 3. So that's a little bit about me. I am excited to start this blogging journey and meet new people.